


Mirrors

by Multifandomx



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Bench Scene (Andi Mack), Coming Out, Family Issues, First Kiss, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kira is the worst, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:41:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24459142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandomx/pseuds/Multifandomx
Summary: TJ realized that he liked Cyrus right before costume day. He realized this because of Kira. “Have fun with that.” Those words echoed in his head as he walked home from school. When he got home, he was alone. His older brother got out of school later and both of his parents worked.He went up to his room and just stared at himself in the mirror. He laughed a little. He couldn’t actually like like Cyrus. He was the captain of the basketball team. He didn’t actually like boys. That was a ridiculous thing to think. Of course, Kira was wrong. Just then his phone went off.Cy: Cant wait 4 tmrw! :))))His heart fluttered at the text. Crap. Yup, he definitely did like Cyrus. He looked back at himself in the mirror. He stared at himself again this time feeling the burning sensation of tears behind his eyes. He couldn’t like Cyrus that way. Reed and Lester always talked about how wrong it was. Boys couldn’t like other boys. It was gross.
Relationships: Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!! I just wrote this because I wanted to explore what coming out might have been like for TJ because he is so stereotypically masculine. There is homophobia and internalized homophobia in every chapter, so beware of that. Hope you enjoy!

TJ realized that he liked Cyrus right before costume day. He realized this because of Kira. “Have fun with that.” Those words echoed in his head as he walked home from school. When he got home, he was alone. His older brother got out of school later and both of his parents worked. 

He went up to his room and just stared at himself in the mirror. He laughed a little. He couldn’t actually like like Cyrus. He was the captain of the basketball team. He didn’t actually like boys. That was a ridiculous thing to think. Of course, Kira was wrong. Just then his phone went off.

Cy: Cant wait 4 tmrw! :))))

His heart fluttered at the text. Crap. Yup, he definitely did like Cyrus. He looked back at himself in the mirror. He stared at himself again this time feeling the burning sensation of tears behind his eyes. He couldn’t like Cyrus that way. Reed and Lester always talked about how wrong it was. Boys couldn’t like other boys. It was gross.

TJ threw himself on his bed and put his head in his pillow. He must have fallen asleep at some point, because he was woken up by his mom yelling for him to come down for dinner. TJ looked down at his pillow, there were very obvious wet marks from where he had been crying. He let out a sigh and walked downstairs.

His parents talked about their days, and then asked his older brother, Kurt, about his. Finally, the conversation circled around to TJ. “How was your day sweetie?” His mom smiled at him.

He shrugged, “It was alright, I guess.” His mom and dad looked at each other. This was not normal behavior for their son. Usually TJ oozed confidence and happiness.

“Ok, well costume day is tomorrow, right? What are you doing for it?” At this point he was just pushing the food around his plate.

He looked up at his mom, and then back down to his plate. “Um, Cyrus and I are doing a costume together.” He heard his dad laugh. He looked up at him. 

His mom shot his dad a death glare and then turned back to TJ. “That’s nice honey, what are you doing for it?”

TJ trained his eyes back on his food, “We are um doing somersault. I’m gonna dress up in a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, so I’m summer. Cyrus is gonna wear a salt costume.” He whispered his answer, almost like he didn’t want his family to hear him.

He heard his dad scoff lightly. “I don’t think you should be doing that kind of stuff with another boy TJ. People might get the…wrong impression.” His mom once again shot him a glare. 

TJ nodded, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” He knew his dad was right. After dinner he went back upstairs and texted Kira.

TJ: hey I thought about it and I wanna do ur costume

Kira: Gr8! I’ll bring it 4 u tmrw.

TJ sat down on his bed. He knew he should tell Cyrus he wasn’t doing their costume anymore, but he couldn’t bring him to do it. He just stared at his contact for what felt like forever. There was a knock on his door. “Come in,” Kurt walked into the room. He closed the door and leaned against it. 

“Hey, you good? You seemed kinda off at dinner?” TJ nodded.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. I had a math test today…you know how that goes for me.” It was a good excuse, because it was true; he was always sad after a math test. Even though he was doing better, he still felt crappy after taking one.

His brother nodded at him, “Alright bud.” He turned and opened the door. Before he exited the room; he looked TJ over his shoulder. “You know Teej if you ever wanna talk to me about something you’re scared to talk about with mom or dad; you can talk to me.” TJ looked down at his hands and nodded. His brother left the room and closed the door. 

He went to bed early that night. He just wanted to escape his thoughts. Sleep wasn’t coming easy though. He kept hearing his dad’s words from dinner, “People might get the wrong impression.” But what if the “wrong impression,” was the right impression? TJ stood up in the darkness of the room. 

He walked over to his mirror once again. The only light in the room was coming through the window; illuminating him just enough so he could see himself in the mirror. “You don’t like Cyrus. You don’t like Cyrus.” He kept saying it over and over to himself, but the more he said it the more realized it wasn’t true. He hung his head as tears began to build in his eyes. 

He looked back up at himself. “You like Cyrus and it’s disgusting.” He spit at his reflection. “You can’t like boys, it’s wrong.” The tears began falling down his face. He began to quietly sob, so no one else in the house would hear him. “But I do like Cyrus.” He hung his head again.

He was taking ragged breaths. “I’m…I’m…” he couldn’t bring himself to say the word. He thinks he always knew. He remembers looking at boys when the other boys started looking at girls. Once he heard the word used as an insult though and knew what it meant. He realized he could never ever be that. Even if it broke him.

He got back into bed, and silently cried himself to sleep. He was thinking about what Cyrus’ face was gonna look like when he realized he bailed on the costume. He also thought about how everyone would think he and Kira were dating now. He shuddered at the thought. He didn’t want that, but it was safer than the alternative. He finally drifted off to sleep around 2am.

\--

He went to school the next day and waited by the tree that Kira told him to meet her at. She walked up to him wearing a shirt that read “dribble.” He reached into her bag and handed one that also said “dribble.” He looked up at her confused. “We’re double dribble, get it?” TJ let out a weak laugh.

“Yeah, that’s funny.” It wasn’t. He liked his and Cyrus’s costume idea better, but here we were. He slipped on the shirt over his existing shirt. He walked over to where Cyrus was. His stomach dropped as he saw Cyrus see him. His face instantly fell. “Hey guys.” He tried to sound a little bit happy. 

Cyrus looked him up and down, “what happened to somersault?” TJ gulped. 

“Um, Kira needed a partner for her costume, and I figured Buffy and Andi would let you tag along with theirs.” Buffy and Andi glared at him.

“What are you supposed to be anyway?” Buffy had sharp tone to her voice, which he knew he deserved.

“Kira has one that says dribble too…it’s double dribble, haha.” His laugh was not real at all, and the other three could tell. 

Andi shook her head at TJ and turned to Cyrus, “you can be in ours, ok?” Cyrus nodded. 

“Well…bye.” TJ walked away with a little wave.

\--

He felt horrible the entire day. He knew what he did was wrong. He hadn’t even told him. He just bombarded him with it. He embarrassed him. He hurt Cyrus. He walked home from school, ignoring the texts from Kira. He walked up to his room and tried to text Cyrus.

TJ: Cyrus I’m sorry I should have told you.

No response, but he did get a text from Buffy.

Buffy: Honestly Kippen, that was low, even for you. You hurt him so badly, and you don’t even care. TJ, I thought you were becoming a better person, turns out I was wrong.

He didn’t respond to her; he knew she didn’t want a response from him. He ripped off the stupid T-shirt and threw it at the wall. He flopped onto his bed and put his hands over his face. He began to cry for what felt like the millionth time that week.

He hated what he did, he couldn’t believe he did it. He was disgusted with himself. He was disgusted because he hurt Cyrus but also because he cared so much that he hurt Cyrus. He began to sob into his hands. He felt there was nothing he could do to fix this. Just then someone walked into his room. 

He shot up and began wiping his eyes. It was Kurt, he looked concerned. “Hey bud you ok?” 

TJ nodded his head, “yeah just um…” Kurt looked at him skeptically. TJ began to shake his head, the tears started flowing again. “No,” he let out barely above a whisper. 

Kurt closed the door and sat next to TJ on his bed. “Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong?” He shook his head, because he didn’t. He couldn’t handle the rejection from his own family, not after today. “Ok, but, you know you can right?” TJ looked up at the 18-year old for any signs of doubt, or sarcasm. 

He found none. “I um I hurt Cyrus. I didn’t do his costume. I did a costume with a girl named Kira.” He lowered his head into his hands. “Now he hates me, they all do.” He looked at his brother again. “They all do, I don’t have anyone.” He brother put an arm around him. 

“Hey Teej, I’m sure they don’t hate you. You just need to give them time, and apologize…maybe a lot.” TJ looked back down at his lap and nodded. “Why…why didn’t you do the costume with Cyrus?” He looked back into his brother’s eyes. 

He didn’t he didn’t know if he could tell him. Kurt gave him a kind, little smile. TJ began wringing his hands, “at dinner um…dad said how people might get the ‘wrong impression’…” He looked to see if there was any change in his brother’s face. There wasn’t, still just a smile with kind eyes, Kurt definitely had their mom’s eyes. He looked back down at his hands, “but I think…maybe the ‘wrong impression’…” He took a deep breath, “I think it might be the right impression.” 

TJ began sobbing again. He put his head in his lap. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Kurt. He knew he was going to hate him. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Suddenly he heard Kurt. He was squatted down in front of him. He put his hands on TJ’s knees to steady himself.

“Hey TJ, come on, look at me.” TJ couldn’t do it; he couldn’t face the disappointment. He shook his head. “TJ, seriously look at me.” His brother had a stern tone of voice. TJ looked up slowly. When he met the 18-year old’s eyes he didn’t see any sign of anger, or disappointment. “TJ, it’s ok, if you’re…if you like Cyrus. You’re allowed to do that.” TJ stopped sobbing.

He sniffled, “it…I am?” Kurt nodded with a smile.

“Of course buddy. Did you think I was gonna be mad?” TJ nodded. It wasn’t just him; it was their entire family. “Teej, I love you so much. You’re my little brother, nothing could ever change that…even if you do like boys.” Kurt stood up and sat next to him again. 

“But, dad seemed so…so…disappointed. He’s gonna be mad Kurt.” He looked up at his brother. His bottom lip was trembling.

“It’s gonna be ok. He just…he doesn’t understand it. He’s never…he grew up when that wasn’t ok. But mom won’t care at all. She will help make dad understand, ok?” TJ smiled up at him. Kurt side hugged TJ and stood up to leave the room.

With the acceptance of his brother TJ felt like he finally had the confidence to say it. “Wait, Kurt…” he turned back around. “I’m…I…I’m gay.” He said quietly, because he had never heard himself say it out loud. He felt proud of himself, as a smile grew onto his face.

Kurt smiled back down at him, “I’m so proud of you Thelonious Jagger.” Kurt smirked and then dodged the pillow TJ threw at him.

“I hate you,” TJ laughed as he was wiping tear marks from his face. “But, um…thanks.” Kurt nodded and left the room.

\--

After many, many weeks trying to reform he and Cyrus’s friendship, and they were finally back to somewhat normal. TJ hadn’t told anyone else that he was gay. He kept hanging out with Kira to make sure no one found out. He didn’t want Cyrus to know, because that could ruin their friendship again, because he might feel weird about TJ being gay.

Tonight, was Andi’s party and he was having a really good time with his friends. He loved the goofy way Cyrus was dancing. It was so cute…no not cute. He had to get over his crush on him. Just then Kira walked over and began actually laughing. “Look at Cyrus that’s hilarious.” 

TJ turned to her “you can’t do that.” 

“Do what?” She returned.

“Laugh at someone for the way they dance.” He was getting heated. 

“You did it too.” He sassed back at him

“No, I didn’t, I thought it was fun, not funny.” He crossed his arms

She rolled her eyes, “Why don’t you just admit what this is really about?” he looked at her confused. “If I asked you to pick between me or Cyrus; you’d pick Cyrus.” He looked over at Cyrus dancing on the floor. He felt a smile tug at his lips, but then fall, because he remembered the situation. He looked at the ground. “Exactly. Goodbye TJ.” She stomped away.

TJ was just gonna try and have fun for the rest of the night; ignoring the fact that Kira was probably gonna out him tomorrow to the whole school. They sang and danced until about 9:30. His parents were picking him up at 10. He went outside to sit on a bench around the fire.

“Mind if I join you?” He looked up and saw Cyrus. He nodded. Cyrus looked around. “Where did Kira go?”

TJ smirked, “probably back to her cave.” 

Cyrus laughed lightly, “I would believe that.” They laughed. “You know, I had no idea you played piano.”

TJ turned toward his friend, “Well, my mom is a piano teacher.”

Cyrus looked shocked, “I didn’t know that either.” 

TJ laughed, “I’m not secretive, you can ask me anything.”

Cyrus thought for a moment and then asked, “What does TJ stand for?”

TJ’s face dropped, “except that.” Cyrus frowned.

“Please TJ pretty please. I thought you weren’t secretive.” Cyrus crossed his arms but had a smile on his face. 

TJ smiled at him, “Fine, but you can’t tell anyone, you can't laugh at it, and you can NEVER use it.” Cyrus nodded. “Ok… TJ stands for…Thelonious Jagger…” He looked at Cyrus’ smile. “You said you wouldn’t laugh.”

Cyrus didn’t laugh, “that is a great name! Seriously I love that name.” 

TJ smiled shyly, “um thanks…my grandparents didn’t, they started calling me TJ and it stuck.” They laughed. Their smiles faded into serious faces. “Is…there anything else you want to know?” TJ began moving his hand toward Cyrus’ that was resting on the bench.

Cyrus looked down at his moving hand and then back up. “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

TJ let out a deep breath, “yeah.” He sounded unsure. “Is there…anything you want to tell me?” He moved his hand closer.

Cyrus’ smile grew into a nervous smile, “yes.” TJ let out a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding in. TJ smiled and connected their hands. They both sat and smiled at each other for a bit. “So…you like me too?”

TJ let out a laugh and looked down at their hands. “More than anything.” Cyrus smiled big. “Do you maybe…wanna like…give this a try?” 

Cyrus looked down at their hands and then back up. “More than anything.” TJ smiled at him.

\--

When his dad texted him that he was outside. He and Cyrus stood up. They hugged for what felt like forever. “I’ll text you later…ok?” TJ asked. Cyrus nodded. They hugged quick again, and TJ left.

He got into the passenger seat of his dad’s car. “So how was the party?” TJ smiled down at the hand that had been holding Cyrus’ not 5 minutes earlier. 

“It was…it was really good.” He smiled up at his dad. His dad just grunted and nodded. 

When they got home his mom was in the living room. “Hi honey, how was it?”

He walked over and gave her a hug, “it was really good mom.” She smiled. His brother appeared from the kitchen and sat in the recliner. His dad was about to walk upstairs.

TJ made a split-second decision that he might regret later, but he was too high up right now; and he needed to do this now or he might never. “Wait.” His dad stopped and turned back around. His mom and brother both looked over at him. “I wanna…I need to talk to you guys.” His dad descended the stairs and sat next to his wife on the couch. TJ sat down on the loveseat.

His mom looked concerned, “is everything alright baby? Is it your grades?”

TJ shook his head and looked at Kurt, he gave him a small smile and a knowing look. “No, my grades are fine. It’s um something else.” His parents both nodded. “So…” he began to rub his palms together. His parents were looking more concerned by the minute. “It’s not a bad thing…at least I don’t think it is…” Kurt turned to his parents and nodded.

“Wait you know?” Their mom gave almost a look of betrayal that he knew before she did. Kurt nodded, and turned back to his phone.

“Um…I…tonight…this is really hard for me.” His mom went to stand up to sit by him. “No!” She seemed stunned. “Please, it’ll be easier if you’re…if you stay there.” She sat back down. “I think…well no. I know…I just…I…I have a boyfriend.” He immediately looked at his hands. There was silence. Kurt seemed a little shocked about the recent development but, was looking at their parents too. 

Hi dad finally spoke, “…who is it?” TJ looked up at them. They both had expressions that were unreadable by TJ, but didn’t seem to be for Kurt. He looked angry at their parents, but stayed quiet. 

He looked down at his feet. He was pretty sure his dad already knew what the answer was going to be. “It’s…um…Cyrus.” His dad slammed his hand down onto the arm of the couch. TJ flinched. 

He stood up from where he was sitting. “So, you’re gay then. Is that it?” He had a harsh tone to his voice. TJ didn’t even get to respond before his dad spoke again. “You know what. I don’t want to know.” 

He began walking up the stairs, his mom called after him. “Marty come on.”

He turned around, “I don’t want to know. I don’t want to hear about it.” He had anger in his voice, but he was whispering. He disappeared up the stairs. 

His mom turned back to TJ who now had tears steadily streaming down his face. Kurt walked over at sat by him. He pulled him into a hug. “He…he hates me…” He whispered into Kurt’s shirt.

Kurt looked at their mom, he gave her a look that seemed to get her attention. She rushed to the side of her sons. “He doesn’t hate you honey. He just…he doesn’t understand it. You’re on the basketball team, you’ve always been athletic, you-“ TJ cut her off.

“What does any of that have to do with this? I’m…I can still be athletic and…and gay.” Kurt still holding him in the hug. He shot his mom a disappointed look. “I’m sorry that you guys are disappointed. I tried to change mom. I really did.” He began crying harder. “But…but it hurts. I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry.” His mom sat on the ground speechless.

“Honey. I am not disappointed in you. I am sorry if I made you feel like that. Your dad will come around. I’ll talk to him, I promise.” His mom began tearing up. “I’m so sorry baby. I’m sorry you felt like you had to hide this from us.” TJ looked up at his mom. 

She opened her arms for him, and he flung himself into them. He was sobbing into his mom’s shirt. Kurt ruffled TJ’s hair and got up to leave the two of them alone. “I’m so sorry mom. I…I’m sorry. I didn’t want to like boys…but…” She began shushing him. 

“Baby, it’s ok. I promise. I’ll love you forever. You know I love Cyrus too. You got a good one honey.” He pulled away and smiled at his mom. 

He nodded, “yeah I really do. He’s great.” His mom held and “rocked” him (even though he was about as tall as her now) until he stopped crying.


	2. Chapter 2

TJ finally went upstairs to bed after finishing his talk with his mom. He sat on his bed. He felt numb. He didn’t know how to feel. His dad was mad at him. His mom and brother both made their support very clear, but he had always looked up to his dad. He hadn’t expected his dad to be ok with it, but he hadn’t expected him to storm out of the room. He pulled out his phone and texted Cyrus.

TJ: Hey, I came out to my family

Cy: What? Really? How did it go?

TJ: Not great…not horrible. My dad stormed out of the room. My mom was great. My brother already knew I told him a couple weeks ago.

Cy: Your dad stormed out of the room? Are you ok?

TJ didn’t know how to respond. Was he ok? He was numb, he couldn’t tell.

TJ: I don’t know.

Cy: I’m sorry TJ, if you want you can come over tomorrow.

TJ: Yeah, I would really like that. Thanks.

Cy: Of course :)

TJ plugged in his phone and got ready for bed. He kept replaying the conversation in his head. His dad didn’t want to want to know or hear about TJ’s life. He was disappointed in him. He was used to his dad being mad about his grades, or when a game went bad. This wasn’t that though. He couldn’t do anything different or change anything. This is just how he was, and his dad was mad at him.

\--

TJ woke up the next morning and went downstairs. When he went into the kitchen his mom was making breakfast. “Good morning honey, how did you sleep? Are you doing alright?” She had a huge smile on her face. TJ shrugged and grabbed a bowl out of the cupboard. He grabbed the cereal and poured himself some. “If you wait, you can have some eggs.” TJ shook his head and went out to sit at the table.

Kurt was eating bacon and eggs at the table. His dad was nowhere to be found. “Hey, bud how did you sleep?” TJ shrugged again. “Are you o-“ TJ slammed his hands onto the table. 

“WILL EVERYONE STOP ASKING ME THAT?!” TJ stormed up the stairs and into the bathroom. He gripped the edge of the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. The longer stared the blurrier his vision got. “Dad hates me.” He kept repeating it to himself. 

He got into the shower and sat down. He pulled his knees up to his chest and let his tears flow. His dad hated him, and no one would leave him alone about it. He sat in the shower for 10 minutes. He got out and got dressed. He went downstairs. His brother and mom were sitting in the living room. They turned toward him. He opened the front door, “I’m going to Cyrus’s.” 

His mom stopped him, “wait honey I can drive you.” He slammed the door. He knocked on Cyrus’s door and his dad opened it. 

“Oh hi, TJ! Cyrus is upstairs.” TJ thanked him and walked up to his room. He knocked on the door.

“Come in,” TJ opened the door. Cyrus sat up in his bed. “TJ, hi. Come here.” TJ closed the door and walked to his bed. He flopped onto his stomach into his bed. “Do you wanna talk about it?” TJ shook his head. “Ok,” TJ propped himself up on his elbows and looked up at Cyrus. He wrapped himself around Cyrus’ torso, and put his head back down. 

Cyrus put his hand on TJ’s head and began carding his fingers through his hair. He sat on his phone while continuing to run his fingers through his hair. After about an hour TJ pulled away from Cyrus and sat up. He grabbed the hand that had been running through his hair and played with his fingers. “Thank you.” Cyrus smiled at him.

“For what?” He linked his hand with TJ’s causing him to look up.

“For not making me talk about it, or asking if I’m ok. For just letting me be sad.” TJ had tears forming in his eyes. Cyrus wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. TJ and Cyrus stayed in Cyrus’s room all day. Cyrus would sporadically leave to get food and drinks for them, but other than that they were up there all day. 

Around 9pm his mom texted him.

Mom: Do you want a ride home?

TJ knew he had to leave, because there was no way his mom was letting him stay the night at his boyfriend’s house, but he didn’t want a ride.

TJ: No, I’ll walk. I’ll be home by 10.

Mom: Ok, honey. Be careful walking home. 

He looked at Cyrus. “I don’t want to go home.” He nodded.

“I know, but you have to. You know you are way braver than I am.” TJ’s eye’s shot up at him. 

“Um, how is that true? I don’t even want to go home to my own family.” Cyrus smiled at him.

“Yeah, but I won’t even tell my own family that I’m gay.” TJ was shocked. He had just assumed that Cyrus’s parents knew. “I know what you’re thinking. My parents are all psychologists they will understand. That is probably true, but it doesn’t make it any less terrifying.” TJ nodded. “I was thinking maybe that we could tell the gang though. If you’re ok with that.” 

That was the first time TJ smiled that day. “Yeah. Yes. We should tell them.” Cyrus beamed at him. After 45 minutes of them talking TJ decided he should probably leave. “Ok, well I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” He got up from the bed and walked to the door. 

“Wait!” Cyrus got up from his bed. TJ turned to face him. Cyrus walked over to him. “Um…I had fun today. Even if we did just sit in my room.” They both let out a small laugh. “Do you think maybe…can I kiss you?” TJ looked down at his boyfriend and nodded. Cyrus and TJ met in the middle, connecting their lips. They pulled back and looked in each other’s eyes.

“I um…I liked that.” TJ smiled. Cyrus nodded. “I should…I should go.” He leaned down and pecked Cyrus on the lips again. He opened the door and left. 

\--

When he opened the door, his mom was in the living room, it seemed like his dad had apparently already gone to bed. “Hi honey, how was your day?” TJ ignored his mom and went upstairs. It was like walking into his house brought him back to reality. His mom was being weird, Kurt was being overprotective, and his dad…well his dad wasn’t coming near him. Once he was in bed all he wanted to do was go to sleep. Someone opened the door and turned on the lights. It was Kurt.

“Ok, TJ I know you’re sad, and mad, and whatever else. But mom and I are on your side. Stop taking out your anger about dad on us. You’re really upsetting her.” Kurt sat down on the edge of his bed. “Listen, mom really is trying to talk to dad. So…just lay off ok?” TJ sat up in bed.

“Ok, I’m sorry. I just…all I wanted was for dad to be ok with it, but I didn’t think it was gonna be like this.” Kurt nodded.

“Neither did I. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you from that.” TJ shrugged and buried himself under the covers again. “Ok, I’ll let you sleep. Goodnight.” He turned off the light and left the room.

He fell asleep easier that night. For some reason hearing that his mom and brother were on his side really calmed him. Plus, he kept replaying his kiss with Cyrus in his head. He fell asleep smiling that night.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day he got ready for school. He found his mom in the kitchen, making his lunch. Before she could say anything, he walked up and kissed her on the cheek. She turned around toward him. “I’m sorry mom, I…I’m just mad.” 

She wrapped her arms securely around her youngest. “I know honey, I am too. It’s ok baby. I forgive you.” She pulled back and noticed her son had begun crying. She wiped his tears away. “It’s ok baby. He’ll come around. I know he will. I love you so much, and so does he.” TJ just nodded and leaned into his mom’s touch.

“Thank you, mom. I love you too.” He grabbed his lunch and went out the front door. Usually his dad would drive him on his way to work, but obviously that wasn’t happening. When he got to school, he walked over to where the others were standing. “Hi guys.” He smiled at all of them. He stood next to Cyrus and looked over at him.

“Hey Teej, Cyrus said you guys had something to tell us.” Jonah smiled that huge smile he always had. 

Cyrus looked up at TJ and smiled. TJ smiled back and nodded. “So…we wanted to tell you guys…that um…” He looked up at TJ nervously.

TJ looked down at him with a sure smile, “We wanted to tell you guys…that we’re dating.” TJ said with a smile on his face. He reached down and grabbed Cyrus’s hand. Buffy was smiling, Andi and Jonah were both gaping at them. “So, if you guys could say something, because both of us are kinda freaking out over here.” TJ let out a nervous laugh. 

“Guy’s that so awesome!” Buffy launched herself toward both of them and hugged them. “Thank god you finally came to you senses.” TJ laughed, because he knew she was right.

“Yeah seriously, that’s great! Congrats!” Andi also went in for a hug. Jonah nodded.

“Yeah dudes, that is so sick!” He put out two fists for them to fist bump, which they did. He then pulled Cyrus into a hug. “Seriously bro that’s awesome.” He repeated in Cyrus’s ear.

They both walked to class smiling like idiots as they held each other’s hands. They split up for math. TJ walked into his math class and saw Reed and Lester staring at him. He sat down and avoided eye contact with them. They walked over to him and sat in the surrounding seats. “So Teej,” Reed began.

“We hear you’re gay now or something.” Lester finished. They were trying to get a rise out of him by mocking him. He tried to avoid eye contact with them. “Come on Teej we’re your best friends.” Lester laughed.

“Yeah TJ, best friends, so tell us, are you gay? Are you and that gay kid dating?” Reed laughed. 

He snapped. “Yes.” The boys stopped laughing. They looked at him shocked. “Yes, Cyrus and I are dating. So yeah, I’m gay. Happy now?” He looked between them. They got up and went back to their original seats. The rest of the school day went by uneventful. 

In fact, the rest of the week was uneventful. He saw his dad approximately 3 times. 2 times at dinner, but as soon as TJ sat down, he would stay for a maximum of 15 minutes and then be “done” and leave. The other time was when his dad got home from work one day and TJ was on the couch. TJ said hi to him, but he just got a grunt as a reply. 

\--

On Friday night he got a text from Cyrus.

Cy: Hey, guess what!

TJ: What?

Cy: I came out to all 4 of my parents!

TJ: That’s great! Did it go well?

Cy: It went great lol, just like we thought. They all gave me the basic “I love you no matter what,” speech.

TJ smiled sadly at his phone. He was so happy for Cyrus, but the term “basic speech” made him sad, because he didn’t get that from his dad.

TJ: lol that’s good!

Cy: Yeah, so can I come over tmrw?

TJ: idk let me ask my mom

TJ ran downstairs to the living room. Both of his parents were in there. He thought about turning around, but he didn’t want to hide from his dad forever. “Hey mom…” He walked around the couch on the side his mom was sitting on. She looked up and smiled at him. His dad didn’t even acknowledge him. She noticed his face fall, and then her’s did too. “I was just wondering…can…um…can Cyrus come over tomorrow?” He was rubbing the back of his neck.

He saw his dad tense when he asked his question. It made him feel gross. Like he was doing something wrong. He was about to just tell his mom never mind, but she smiled back up at him. “Of course he can baby.” TJ gave her a small smile. He saw his dad slowly shake his head. 

“Thanks mom.” He bent over and kissed her on the cheek. She patted his cheek. He made his way back upstairs. 

TJ: Mom said yes, but dad was down there too when I asked, and he just shook his head when my mom said yes.

Cy: I’m sorry TJ. I’ll be over @ 11 tmrw :) We talk about it then if you want to

TJ: Ok thanks, goodnight Cyrus.

Cy: Goodnight TJ <3 

TJ stared at his phone. His heart began fluttering. Cyrus sent him a heart. He was probably smiling like an idiot, but he didn’t care. Once he got into bed he couldn’t sleep, because he was too happy. Cyrus sent him a heart. He was so happy.

\--

The next day TJ got up early, he was just too excited to have Cyrus come over. I mean he had come over before, but this was different. He went downstairs to eat breakfast. He expected his mom to be in the kitchen. When he walked in, it was his dad. He stopped in his tracks. His dad caught sight of him and also stopped what he was doing. “Uh…” He didn’t know what to do. His dad cleared his throat and continued pouring his coffee. 

His dad went to walk past him to go into the dining room. TJ moved out of the way. He felt himself getting angry. “So, are you just never gonna talk to me again?” His dad stopped walking. He turned around to face his son. “Are you ever gonna love me again?” TJ felt tears building, but they weren’t sad they were angry. 

His dad sat down at the table, “I do love you.” TJ laughed.

“Right dad, you’re doing a fantastic showing that. You won’t even talk to me.” His dad slammed his hands on the table and stood up. TJ flinched at the sound of the clattering dishes on the table.

“Well TJ what do you want me to do? Pretend like this is normal?” He was yelling. TJ’s angry tears started flowing.

“No, dad I want you to love me! Why can’t you just do that?!” TJ was yelling too. Suddenly his mom and Kurt were in the room, both in their pajamas, obviously woken up by their fight. Kurt came over to him and pulled TJ, so he was looking at him. “Why won’t he just love me? He’s my dad.” He fell into Kurt’s arms. He heard the front door slam. His mom was now also hugging him. His dad left. 

\--

At 11 sharp Cyrus knocked on the door. He opened it for him. He was so happy to see him. He pulled him into a bone crushing hug. TJ grabbed his hand and pulled him upstairs. “Door stays open, please.” His mom yelled after them.

TJ kept the door cracked. He pulled Cyrus into another tight hug. He didn’t want to focus on what happened that morning. “Hi,” he pulled away from Cyrus.

He laughed, “Hi.” He walked over to TJ’s desk and sat in his chair. “So, what are we doing today?” TJ sat on his bed across from Cyrus. 

“I don’t know, is there anything you want to do?” Cyrus shook his head. 

“Just being with you is enough,” TJ gave him a look for embarrassment. “I didn’t like saying either.” They both laughed.

That day will go down as one of the best days of his life. It was just spent doing random things with Cyrus, but they were random things with Cyrus and what more could he ask for? At 9 they were sitting on TJ’s porch holding hands. “This was the best day ever.” He looked at Cyrus. Cyrus turned his head. 

TJ took Cyrus’s cheek in his hand and pulled his face to his. Their lips connected. He pulled away. Cyrus grabbed TJ’s face and pulled him back in. They heard a gasp and disconnected. TJ turned around to see his dad reentering the house. They made eye contact, but then both turned away.

TJ closed his eyes. He heard his front door open and close. Cyrus grabbed TJ’s chin and tilted it, so he was looking in his eyes. “I think you should talk to your dad.” TJ nodded. He knew he had to, but he wanted his dad to come to him. He wanted his dad to want him back too. “I’m gonna go now, ok?” TJ looked back in Cyrus’s eyes. He kissed him one more time and got up to leave.

TJ sat out there for a couple minutes trying to gather himself. He got up and with a deep breath, opened the front door. His dad wasn’t in there. His mom smiled at him though, so did Kurt. They were actual smiles, which was odd around this time in their family. He turned to go up to his room. The light in his room was on, he didn’t remember leaving it on. He pushed the door open and saw his dad sitting on his bed. 

His dad stood up, “I think we need to talk…without all the screaming.” TJ nodded and sat in his desk chair. His dad went to close the door, but he saw the fear in TJ’s eyes, and decided against it. He sat back down on the bed. “I would never hurt you.” TJ looked up at his dad. “Physically...” his dad added.

“But you did hurt me, dad. Really, really badly.” His dad bowed his head and nodded. “I didn’t expect you to like be happy, but…you were so…mad, disappointed, I don’t know. I just didn’t expect that.” He put his head in his hands. 

“I know. I’ve been a really horrible dad for the past week.” TJ nodded his head and wiped his tears, when had he started crying? “I’m so sorry TJ. I…I don’t know how to apologize for what I did.” TJ shrugged. “This morning, I wasn’t lying when I said I loved you. I do. I just…don’t know how to handle this.”

“I’m not asking you to handle it. There is nothing to ‘handle’ dad. This is just who I am…you can’t hire me a tutor or get me a trainer. I’m…I’m gay dad.” He was still getting used to saying that. “I just need you to love me. I’m confused too. Do you know how many times I have looked into that mirror and said hateful things to myself? Do you know why? Because, you said harmful things about people like me, dad.” 

His dad shook his head, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to sound like I wanted you to change.” TJ let out a sad laugh 

“Yes, you did!” He calmed himself, before he started yelling. “Yes, you did.” He was quieter that time. “If you didn’t want me to change, then why did you not talk to me for 7 days?”

His dad bowed his head again, “You…you’re right. I thought maybe you would change.” He looked up into TJ’s eyes. “When I saw you and Cyrus outside…I was a little shocked, but I think I get it now.” TJ smiled hopefully. “Two boys…being…involved with each other, is no different than anything else.” TJ sniffled and wiped his tears again.

“Do…do you really mean that?” His dad had tears in his eyes. He smiled at TJ and nodded. His dad stood up. TJ stood up to meet him.

His dad grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so proud of you TJ.” TJ smiled into his dad’s shoulder.

“Thanks, dad.” He whispered. He texted Cyrus after his dad left the room

TJ: My dad and I talked.

Cy: and?

TJ: he told me he was sorry for being a horrible dad, and that he was proud of me. He said “I’m so proud of you TJ” :’)

Cy: That’s amazing Teej! I’m so happy for you! See you tmrw?

TJ: Yeah, I’d like that.

TJ plugged in his phone and got ready for bed. While he was walking around his room getting ready, he caught his reflection in the mirror. He turned to face it. He finally smiled at his own reflection for the first time in months. “He’s proud of me.” He felt a single tear fall down his face. “I am good enough.” With that he got into bed and fell asleep immediately, because his mind was finally put at ease. His dad did love him. His entire family did. His friends did, and hopefully…Cyrus did.


End file.
